Miserable Middles of Change

August 17, 2009

Thanks to Twitter, today I stumbled on Harvard Professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter’s blog post Change is Hardest in the Middle. Although she’s writing for Harvard Business types, I was struck by how true the statement is for divorcing. She states:

Everything looks like a failure in the middle. Everyone loves inspiring beginnings and happy endings; it is just the middles that involve hard work.

Deciding to separate and/or divorce is one of the hardest decisions many of us will ever make. Once we decide to go forward with it, there is often a period of relief because you’ve finally made the decision. Next comes the excitement of new possibilities. At this point friends might even feel a little envious that you were brave enough to break out on your own.

However, all too soon it’s followed by the “miserable middle” where you’re dealing with the legalities, finances, endless receipts and paperwork, not to mention kids feelings. Especially if you are the one choosing to start the divorce process, you probably begin to wonder if it’s really worth it. Life was so much simpler before all the dividing up stuff started.

Working with clients, it’s my experience that most have valid reasons for ending their marriages. It’s a decision based on rational analysis of their relationship, and a long time coming. So I say push through the middle piece, know it for what it is–the chaos of change– and hang in there.

A brighter beginning will emerge.


2 Responses to “Miserable Middles of Change”

  1. Linda Says:

    Sharon–I saw and loved the Washington Post article about you and your business Brilliant Exits. Having been to two Second Saturdays, it reinforced for me that it was/is a good choice for me. Thanks for using your own painful experience to help others like me navigate ours. I look forward to seeing you at another Second Saturday soon.

  2. Thanks Linda! Hope things are going well for you.

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