Once upon a time…

December 8, 2009

fairy tale dreamsSuch powerful words, especially if you grew up reading fairy tales. There was the struggle, which made us cry, followed by the happily-ever-after ending which brought visions of a brilliant, wonderful life.

That’s what I believe makes separation and divorcing so dreadfully painful. Giving up the dream. You worked hard finding the “perfect” mate and celebrated with a beautiful wedding for all the world to see.

Now the honeymoon’s been over a long time, and perhaps negotiating the dreary details of life has turned your tale into … a nightmare. I’m sorry.

Remember, you can’t control life. It’s not your fault your spouse has an addiction, a mistress, issues of rage or mental illness. Remember also, what you can control is your perception of it.

The quote I share today, from Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance is:

You can never lose something if you never had it to begin with. You were never in control and never will be. Let go of that illusion so that you can cut your losses and move on… “We trade a life that we have tied to control”, Melanie Beattie reassures us, “and we receive in return something better—a life that is manageable.”

That quote was my “aha” moment, when I realized I was grieving the loss of something I never had. If this holiday has you stuck in the “should I leave, should I stay” place ask yourself if what you are torn about is an illusion. A dream that never truly existed.

The answer just might help you cut your losses and release the guilt…
so that you can move on to create the life you deserve.

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One Response to “Once upon a time…”


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sharon Zarozny, Ellen Kellner. Ellen Kellner said: Divorce: Once upon a time meets today's reality. http://wp.me/px4Su-bp RT @brilliantexits […]


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