Are Fairy Tales bad for our daughters?

January 31, 2010

Modern FairyTales
No one marries planning to divorce, and when it happens (or looks like it could) most of us have no clue what to do. Enormous pressure and emotional devastation is placed on us because the Fairy Tale wedding became a nightmare.

The reality of marriage is brilliantly conveyed in the picture above by Dina Goldstein. Her Fallen Princesses gallery presents a chilling take on modern day fairy tales.

This brings up the question: Are Fairy Tales harmful, especially for young girls? Walk into a toy store, and to this day you will see lots of princess dress up for girls. For boys? Trucks and combat gear. This sets the sexes down a path of unreality. For our daughters, we still encourage the “your prince” will come fantasy. For boys, it’s the adrenaline of war without the bloody mess.

The result: Should divorce follow marriage, women generally try to hold on to the dream while men, faced with divorce, often slip into the strategizing mode they learned as boys. Our traditional, adversarial court system is based on this very war-like model… which is not family friendly.

Fortunately, by learning about the process and choices you have, a more peaceful, family-friendly divorce can be achieved, if you are divorcing a rational mate. When dealing with a controlling, narcisstic spouse a process has yet to be devised to protect the less monied spouse from a financially and emotionally devastating ride through a legal nightmare. And sadly, thanks to the “no money, no representation” policy for family issues the courts simply become another weapon for an abuser.

Isn’t it time for a change?


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