If the fight is on, may we suggest …

June 28, 2010

One of the Herculean aspects of divorcing is compromising with a 2bx, especially if you’ve been deeply hurt. And sadly, it’s often a couple’s skyrocketing conflict that keeps the lawyers busy .. and costs you dearly in legal fees. So, to help you save money (and hopefully anguish) Here’s what to avoid:

  • Bottling it all up … because trust me, you’ll eventually explode in the “straw that broke the camel’s” back fashion.
  • Being too defensive. It prevents you from seeing the big picture, and your 2bx’s point of view. Result: Escalation.
  • Starting conversations with “You always… You never….” basically blowing things way out of proportion.
  • Seeing everything as “black or white”… or “right or wrong”. It’s the opposite of compromise and makes it impossible to “agree to disagree”.
  • Mind-Reading – Stats show we get this wrong the majority of the time.
  • Interrupting, rolling your eyes (think 3 year-old tactics), not listening. If you don’t listen, neither will your partner.
  • Playing the Blame Game: Criticizing. Shaming. Pushing his/her buttons.
  • “Winning” the argument at all costs.
  • Name calling and character attacks- need I explain?
  • The silent treatment… stonewalling.. refusing to talk or listen. Communication is key to compromise and resolution.

    Wondering about your style? Take this quiz and find out!

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