Lover to Spouse to Kids Role Model…

July 6, 2010

We marry madly in love with incredible dreams of our joint future. Then, reality sets in along with the mundane tasks of life… dishes, laundry, compromise and perhaps kids. At some point the partner who initially made us feel “whole” because s/he had qualities we lacked (opposites attract concept) morphs into a creature who pushes all our buttons making for a challenging battleground & home life.

How does this happen? Many experts believe it’s because we act out our dysfunctional upbringing with a partner we unconsciously choose to help us heal our deepest wounds. If we have a partner who will work with us to close the wounds we are able to move on to a healthy, mature relationship. If not, we end up in an invisible marriage or separation & divorce.

The bad news is warring partners, divorced or not, can destroy childhoods. The conflict tears kids apart often leading to loneliness, depression and trust issues. One of the hardest challenges of divorce is how to help such parents resolve the conflicts that led to their divorce … so each can move forward to create a separate, loving, peaceful environment for their kids (and themselves).

So what to do when anger rears its ugly head?
Try this tip from comedian Phyliss Diller:
Phylliss recommends

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”


Having some tools to fall back on is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids. How do you handle anger & frustration? Please share your tips below. Thanks!

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