Kids’ Questions

October 25, 2010

This morning I stumbled upon Debra Gettleman’s blog post Honesty…Is Usually the Best Policy. It gave me a chuckle and jogged my memory.

If you have kids, you know the car is where all great conversations happen. Once upon a time, my husband’s mistress unexpectedly showed up at our doorstep with a toddler in the car. As you might guess, a slightly emotional scene occurred.

The next day, as my daughters and I were heading out for ice cream, my 6 year-old asked:

Mommy, is Connie’s son Daddy’s too?

My heart stopped. I’d been dreading the day that question was asked.  Inwardly I was still raw from the news myself and furious that I, not my husband, had to deal with the big question. I’d been scouring books, unsuccessfully, to learn the best way to handle the inevitable. The closest I come to an answer was that mental health experts deemed family secrets a huge, unhealthy burden for families, and that kids instinctively know the truth.

So, with all the non-judgmental feelings I could muster, I answered “Yes.”  My heart was pounding dreading the questions to follow and wondering if I’d just ruined her life…

After a moment my daughter simply grumbled, “That’s not fair, I don’t want to share any of my things with him.

My 3 year-old, excitedly kicking her car seat, chimed in “Me too!”

I couldn’t have agreed more.

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2 Responses to “Kids’ Questions”

  1. Jenn Says:

    Excellent reminder! We struggle and struggle to avoid hard questions from our kids, thinking we are protecting them, when we are usually just protecting ourselves.


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