How to Deal With an Inflexible Ex

December 16, 2010


Having divorced an abusive, controllin­g, severely narcissist­ic spouse who’s dragged me through the courts (divorce & post divorce) for nearly 15 years (yes it’s true, and that’s not a typo) I know how difficult it is to adhere to Stacy’s advice, but it is crucial to your child’s well-being­.

That said, I know how hard it is to take the high road when your ex is bashing you to the kids. I tell my clients when things get really tough, repeat this mantra to yourself: “I love my children more than I hate my spouse… I love my children more than I hate my spouse….­”

My nasty separation began when my daughters were 3 and 6. I read all the parenting materials through the years and was awestruck when at 16 my youngest voiced what the experts say. She desperatel­y wanted to speak to her father so I drove her out to his house. His wife (the mistress and mother of a love child they had while he was married to me) wouldn’t let her in the house to talk to her dad. My daughter sat down in his driveway and sobbed: “I don’t get it. I’m half him, half you. I love him but I hate him. Am I crazy to still love him?”

Proof that when you bad mouth your child’s parent, you bad mouth that part of your child. Not doing it is the greatest gift you can give your child.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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