Would you give your spouse the password to your Facebook site? To save marriages, that’s what a New Jersey pastor will be preaching this  Sunday. Why? Nearly a third of today’s divorces are “internet assisted.”

According to a recent Huffington Post  Digital Drama — Is Facebook to Blame?:

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or been faced with evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites in divorce cases over the last five years.

About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. And a do-it-yourself divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported late last year that the word “Facebook” was appearing in about one in five of the petitions it was handling.

What do you think?

(Oh, and a word to the wise. Lawyers love Facebook. Disable it now if divorce is in your future.)

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Infidelity Trends & Solutions

September 29, 2010

It could happen to you, and it did happen to me. My spouse cheated … and had a child with his lover way before I was clued in.

Affairs aren’t necessarily the kiss of death for a marriage, but when discovered (or suspected) it can tear everyone’s world apart. Although I was clueless, statistics say that 85% of women who think their spouse is cheating are spot on, whereas only 50% of men who suspect a cheating spouse are right.

According to infidelity expert Ruth Houston:

  • Infidelity has increased 50% among women and it’s rapidly approaching the male infidelity rate. Solution: Guys, pay attention to your partner and don’t dismiss their needs lightly.
  • Thanks to the internet, more than a 1/3 of all divorces are “internet assisted”. Solution: Know what your spouse is doing online… personally, I hope this doesn’t lead to “spousal controls”.
  • Emotional infidelity and cyber affairs need to be addressed because ignored it can lead to sexual encounters. Solution: If you suspect your spouse of this, take action before it’s too late.
  • Workplace infidelity destroys many marriages and relationships. Solution: Keep each other in the loop about your workplace and do not cultivate an “emotional partner” at work.
  • Given so many of us are naive about the signs of infidelity, many affairs aren’t discovered until it’s too late. Solution: Knowing the signs is key, so educate yourself, but don’t become paranoid.

Why am I telling you all this? Infidelity is on my mind as we have a panel of Private Eyes speaking at our Oct 9, 2010 Second Saturday program. Proving adultery, uncovering assets, and computer surveillance is part of their job. So this coming week, I’ll be blogging about these issues and hoping… you aren’t touched by any of it.

But if you are, consider joining us to get some answers and insight.

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If “another woman” was one of the reasons your marriage ended you will love this. Second wives in England and Massachusetts are having such a hard time thanks to the “first wife” that they’ve banned together and created “Second Wives” support/bashing groups.

Some of their issues? That they and their kids suffer because hubby has others to support. Or that their predecessor isn’t playing fair thinking she’s a “first wife” instead of an “ex”.

Aaah, sweet justice!