In answering the why, could it be the archaic presumptio­n that in most states one is considered “emancipat­ed” at age 18 (or graduation from high school) and therefore “Independe­nt” ie, on their own financiall­y? This may have been “justice” in the 19th Century, but really, what 18 year old today can succeed without college or some sort of post high school training? And just exactly how are these kids (our future, as we say) supposed to pay for it?

Our family laws are outdated and need changing. College educated parents normally consider it their responsibi­lity to help their kids through college… unless their kids are now a pawn between exes. At the very least, child support should be extended (and is in some states) until a child reaches 21. Today’s world is too expensive and complicate­d to abandon our kids at 18 years old.

Sharon Zarozny, Founder
Brilliant Exits, LLC
www.brilli­antexits.c­om
brilliante­xits.wordp­ress.com
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Having divorced an abusive, controllin­g, severely narcissist­ic spouse who’s dragged me through the courts (divorce & post divorce) for nearly 15 years (yes it’s true, and that’s not a typo) I know how difficult it is to adhere to Stacy’s advice, but it is crucial to your child’s well-being­.

That said, I know how hard it is to take the high road when your ex is bashing you to the kids. I tell my clients when things get really tough, repeat this mantra to yourself: “I love my children more than I hate my spouse… I love my children more than I hate my spouse….­”

My nasty separation began when my daughters were 3 and 6. I read all the parenting materials through the years and was awestruck when at 16 my youngest voiced what the experts say. She desperatel­y wanted to speak to her father so I drove her out to his house. His wife (the mistress and mother of a love child they had while he was married to me) wouldn’t let her in the house to talk to her dad. My daughter sat down in his driveway and sobbed: “I don’t get it. I’m half him, half you. I love him but I hate him. Am I crazy to still love him?”

Proof that when you bad mouth your child’s parent, you bad mouth that part of your child. Not doing it is the greatest gift you can give your child.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

It’s National Anger Management week and, in it’s honor, the British Association of Anger Management is offering 2 free Keeping Your Cool Kits. Why? According to the Association, managing anger is a primary key to controlling stress, anxiety and depression.  Despite what Hallmark would have you believe, a British survey discovered:

          • The average family has their first argument at 9:58 Christmas morning.
          • Over 1/2 of all families have disagreements.
          • And 1/8 of couples said fights over the holidays made them want to split up.

My favorite recommendation? Remember Christmas is simply one day out of the year. Repeat to yourself to keep things in perspective.

And now, some tips from the Association’s Keep Your Cool Over Yule Kit:

Rules to Beating Anger

  1. STOP, think, take a look at the big picture.
  2. It’s OK to have a different opinion.
  3. Listen actively.
  4. Use your emotional support network (Anger Buddies).
  5. Keep an anger management journal.
  6. Don’t take things personally.

Have kids? When things get heated send them on a walk, suggest they put their head phones to good use listening to music, and let them get lots of sleep so they aren’t so grumpy.

Ditto for adults.