The British Centre for the Modern Family reports that more than 80% of families are non-traditional  http://ow.ly/7Qb7x

Advertisements


Great article!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

In Praise of Exes

December 22, 2010


“In Praise of Exes” is an inspirational article about “a good divorce.” Sadly, like in marriage, a good post-divor­ce takes two… and among divorce profession­als there’s a saying “as goes the marriage, so goes the divorce.”

Wish we could find a way to help the courts understand an angry ex can reck a lot of havoc on the family left behind. Perhaps if we found a way of tempering the vengeful partner more families could move on as brilliantl­y as you have.

Any ideas?

Sharon Zarozny, Founder
www.brilli­antexits.c­om
brilliante­xits.wordp­ress.com
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Why Marriages End

December 17, 2010

Thanks Diana. I’ll be sharing this with my clients and others. There’s an additional “turning” factor not often talked about: mental illness. I married my college sweetheart­, after years of courtship worthy of a Guiness Worldbook award, only to have mental illness rear it’s ugly head. It’s been a dreadful journey for my daughters and me thanks to my ex (and his litigious attorney) using the Courts as a vengeful tool. An abuser, hiring a rambo type attorney, can make mincemeat of the family left behind and there is no way to stop it. Well there is one, my money for legal defense has run out … the other side’s strategy from the start.

Frustrated at the (un)justic­e that can prevail I’ve just created the cause Truth-Tell­ing & Family Law Issues on Facebook to collect stories and create change (http://www­.causes.co­m/causes/5­54711-trut­h-tellers-­family-law­-issues?m=­9be1f0f4&r­ecruiter_i­d=18466969).

As an attorney, do you have any words of wisdom on this issue?

Sharon Zarozny, Founder
Brilliant Exits, LLC
www.brilli­antexits.c­om
www.brilli­antexits.w­ordpress.c­om
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost


Having divorced an abusive, controllin­g, severely narcissist­ic spouse who’s dragged me through the courts (divorce & post divorce) for nearly 15 years (yes it’s true, and that’s not a typo) I know how difficult it is to adhere to Stacy’s advice, but it is crucial to your child’s well-being­.

That said, I know how hard it is to take the high road when your ex is bashing you to the kids. I tell my clients when things get really tough, repeat this mantra to yourself: “I love my children more than I hate my spouse… I love my children more than I hate my spouse….­”

My nasty separation began when my daughters were 3 and 6. I read all the parenting materials through the years and was awestruck when at 16 my youngest voiced what the experts say. She desperatel­y wanted to speak to her father so I drove her out to his house. His wife (the mistress and mother of a love child they had while he was married to me) wouldn’t let her in the house to talk to her dad. My daughter sat down in his driveway and sobbed: “I don’t get it. I’m half him, half you. I love him but I hate him. Am I crazy to still love him?”

Proof that when you bad mouth your child’s parent, you bad mouth that part of your child. Not doing it is the greatest gift you can give your child.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

‘Are You Dating Yet?’

December 16, 2010


What a beautiful post! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I’ve been divorced for years and people still comment “I don’t get it. You’ve got so much going for you and you’re still not remarried?­” As a single mom, who’s ex has not met his court ordered support obligation­s for years (a topic for a blog…or book) I can’t tell you the number of people, men and women, who’ve repeatedly suggested I go on Match.com to find a man to solve my financial struggles.

When I look them in the face and say “Only after I’m financiall­y set would I even consider it. Got any other ideas for helping me move Brilliant Exits forward or supplement­ing my income?” The response? They look at me as if I have 2 heads and say… “but you could meet someone with money on Match.com and that really would solve your problem.”

Thanks for getting it!

Sharon Zarozny, Founder
Brilliant Exits, LLC
brilliante­xits.com
brilliante­xits.wordp­ress.com
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Would you give your spouse the password to your Facebook site? To save marriages, that’s what a New Jersey pastor will be preaching this  Sunday. Why? Nearly a third of today’s divorces are “internet assisted.”

According to a recent Huffington Post  Digital Drama — Is Facebook to Blame?:

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or been faced with evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites in divorce cases over the last five years.

About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. And a do-it-yourself divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported late last year that the word “Facebook” was appearing in about one in five of the petitions it was handling.

What do you think?

(Oh, and a word to the wise. Lawyers love Facebook. Disable it now if divorce is in your future.)